Like Chandler and Phoebe

It's been twenty days since the last update? So much for an ongoing blog! Well, I'm here to amend that!

So it's officially been a month that I've been doing my little workout regime. If I had to self-assess, I'd say I'm doing a fairly decently awesome job. I mean, I ate a donut on my parent's anniversary... but that's okay because the donut was there in lieu of an actual cake. I ate out maybe twice during lunch for work in the past month... WHICH IS HUGE! I'd venture a guess that out of the week, I had probably ate out three or four of those times... JUST FOR LUNCH. And I wasn't ordering for health, I was ordering for deliciousness a.k.a. tongue-orgasming.

This cutback has two bonuses. First and foremost, I'm eating WAY healthier. I never come back from lunch wanting to pass out at my desk anymore. Nor do ninja shit attacks jump me. I can spot a potential workplace poo WAY before so I can turn it into a drive-home-super-fast poo. HECK YA! Second bonus... I'm saving a TON of money. Whereas before, one meal could add up to fifteen dollars (I'm a generous tipper. Both because I'm generous and because I have to show-up the waiter because they probably think I tip shitty just because I'm Asian). NOW, I BUY MY OWN SHIT AT THE GROCERY SHOP! Remember in Stepbrothers when Will Ferrell walked out of Costco with toilet paper in bulk and he raised his hand in triumph? That's totally how I am when I walk out of Trader Joe's or Ingles. Anyway, with all this extra money per month, it affords me luxuries like lap dances, extra videogames, and lap dances! HECK YA!

Boner? Boner. Pork grind? Pork grind.